A few thoughts…

Why, when driving on the highway and someone passes you or you pass them , they have to give you a look. It’s not a mean look or a friendly look. Is everyone on the highway subconsciously hoping they pass someone they know? Is it a look of judgment? Am I driving too fast, too slow? Don’t judge me, yes I’m singing at the tops of my lungs while picking my nose! Keep your eyes on the road lady!

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Is it just me or do car dealerships always have giant American flags? Is it an unspoken competition? Does a bigger flag equal higher sales?  Whatever you do, DO NOT buy a car from a small flag dealership and for heaven’s sake if there’s no flag don’t even go on the lot. Bad things will happen!

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Please, for the love of the god that you say you believe in. If I’m eating something that doesn’t appeal to you, don’t say it’s gross. I’m eating it, so I must like it. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s gross. I’ll only allow you one exception. Actually fuck that! No exceptions.

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If you hear a song and you don’t know what band it is don’t ask me who sings it. I will not respond to you. Bands don’t sing songs.

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I was at the movie theater last night and noticed a lot of guys leaving the restroom without washing their hands. At first I was shocked but then reconsidered. Why do we have to wash our hands it’s not like we piss on them? Well I don’t, do you? Also, it’s too dirty to touch with our hands and not wash them but clean enough to expect someone to put that thing in their mouth? WTF

If you like my writing or anything that I do please use the facebook and twitter buttons below to share it with your friends.  As always thanks for reading. -ks

August 3, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: Leave a Comment

The best pieces of a plan are the pieces that fall apart because they make you move, they make you think. I know my plan wasn’t to be thirty and single, working in a chain restaurant ten shifts a week. To be honest I don’t remember what my plan was anymore. It fell apart a long time ago and I’ve been winging it ever since. I like where I am now the view is good from here. I can see clearly choices that have gotten me here and that’s all I really need.

I’m not far enough up the mountain yet to see what’s to come but I have the feeling that it’s just more mountain and I’m ok with that.  The future is coming whether we like it or not. Death and taxes are really the only things we can count on. All the rest, all the fun bits and bad parts are up in the air and we just pick at them and grab them as they fly by. We miss some, we drop some and we give some away. The moments we lived today, this week, this year and the total sum of all our experiences are what make us. This is who I am thirty years into this thing.

If you like my writing or anything that I do please use the facebook and twitter buttons below to share it with your friends.  As always thanks for reading. -ks

July 15, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: Leave a Comment

I’ve always wondered why they hang doors to hospital rooms because they are never closed. I can’t help but look into the rooms as I walk down the hall. Today I was walking through a hospital and I kept seeing old men and women alone in their rooms. They looked so sad and defeated. The loneliness in their eyes overwhelmed me, I could feel it.

Then I went to the mall. It was the other end of the spectrum. Teenage kids about in masses. There were small groups of boys and girls mixing, discovering each other’s mouths and tongues and other naughty bits too I’m sure. It’s all so new and exciting for them, they don’t foresee the pain and frustration coming. The total and utter heartbreak that you think you’ll ever recover from. They especially don’t see themselves old and alone in a hospital bed with the love of their life gone one way or the other.

It made me think of myself and where I am right now. I’m somewhere in between those two places. I’m floating alone in the grey murkiness of love and life. I can foresee myself old and decaying and my body failing. Sitting alone in a hospital with no one to come see me because I was never married and most of my family is gone or too far away.

It was not so much a sad thought or feeling but a reality. It’s a reality that I’m very aware of. I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. It’s just something I was thinking about.

If you like my writing or anything that I do please use the facebook and twitter buttons below to share it with your friends.  As always thanks for reading. -ks

June 29, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: Leave a Comment

It seems that the further I go the lonelier it get. What I mean is the more outside of my comfort zone I push myself the worse I feel. The depression settles in, the anxiety rises up and I can’t do anything about it but keep trying. Dating really fucking sucks. There’s really no way of knowing if a girl likes you or not. If they do like you they’re not going to tell you and I’m not aggressive enough to find out. So in the end it’s really just pointless. A year ago I was pretty content with the idea of being alone for an  indefinite amount of time. I didn’t care about meeting anybody or dating. I didn’t even want to try. I’m lonely now though, but my book collection and my notebooks can only get me so far. On the other side of that there are people who like me. they really like me a lot and they want to be with me but I don’t know if they are right for me. I’m thinking that if  I don’t know than maybe they’re not. Is that something that is hard to figure out or do you just know it when it’s right? I thought I knew once before and I was wrong so maybe I’m just scared now.

I suck at this. I’m socially crippled, emotionally damaged and my self-esteem is non existent.  If I really like someone I immediately assume that they’re too good for me or at the very least better off with out me. The more I get to know a girl, the more girls I get to know, the more I realize I know nothing about them. I don’t know what they want, what they like or what they need. I just fuck it up every step of the way.

Also girls, you play games whether you are aware of it or not. Everything is about signals or seeing if the guy you like will try hard enough to get you. Stop playing hard to get it’s just confusing, time consuming and leads to a lot of dead ends. Why can’t I just tell a girl I like her and she can say she likes me back or she doesn’t like me and we can just move on with it.

Hi what’s your name?

Nice to meet you Sarah. You seem nice and I find you very attractive any chance you would be interested in going on a date with me?

That’s OK thanks for your time.

Girls just say no, if you mean no. Why is everything always maybe or I don’t know? Also if Sarah does say yes and we go out for drinks or dinner or something like that. Everything seems to go well, there’s plenty of conversation, a lot of smiling and laughing. At the end of the date just be honest if I ask you if you want to go out again. Just say no if you mean no.  Won’t that be easier for all parties involved? If other guys are anything like me it will save them hours of torment wondering if they should call or text or if they should just leave you alone. I almost always assume you don’t like me. Fuck it, You call me how about that?

By the way when I say girls I mean women. I don’t really like saying women because the word makes me think of people my moms age. This whole rant probably makes sound like a tool but I don’t really care it’s what was on on my mind. I feel less lonely writing to the 8 people who read this stuff so thanks for that.

If you like my writing or anything that I do please use the facebook and twitter buttons below to share it with your friends.  As always thanks for reading. -ks

June 6, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: 1 Comment

It seems like I’m living my adult life in reverse. I did the long term relationship thing right out of high school. I was engaged and lived pretty much like I was married.  Now I’m almost thirty, single and I’m renting a room in a house with four roommates. I never really had a plan for my life but if I did have a plan I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t have been it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have found a place to live and I’m happy to be back in NJ. It’s just that if I did have a plan for my life at this point I’d own a house or at least have my own apartment. Unfortunately money and a credit score are preventing those things from being a reality. Tonight is my first night here and I have no furniture. I have an air mattress that leaks a few bags and my laptop. I feel like a squatter living in a room that belongs to someone else.

Until today I’ve been basically homeless for awhile. I wasn’t sleeping on the streets or anything like that but I didn’t have a place that was mine. A place where I can feel comfortable. Because of this I haven’t been writing much. Now that I’m here though I want to make sure I get into the habit early of this being my place to get work done.  I’ve been jotting down a lot of ideas and now it’s time to stop playing around and write.

My room is a wooden box. It’s very much like a small cabin at sleep away camp. I’ve never been to sleep away camp but I’ve seen all the horror films. They have to be pretty accurate right? The house looks like the log cabin in the movie The Great Outdoors and it’s right on a lake. I think it’s the perfect place for me to really become a writer finally. Up until now it’s just been a hobby that I want to be a career, like a friend that’s a girl that you want to be your girlfriend or a girlfriend who you want to be your wife but she’s not ready for the commitment yet. Anyway, I hope you are ready for mass amounts of bad grammar and poor spelling I will be sending your way.

Despite being kind of nervous and uncomfortable about my new living situation, I’m really excited about life. Today is the first day of yet another adventure and I’m looking forward to watching it unfold.

If you like these poems, like my writing or anything that I do please use the facebook and twitter buttons below to share it with your friends. As always thanks for reading. -ks

April 21, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: Leave a Comment

I’m stuck at a friends house because the parking lot is 8″ of snow and mud. Everyone here is sleeping and I’ve been awake for hours because I’m suppose to be at work right now. Instead,  I’m sitting here on the couch in silence stressing out about the money I need and would be making if I was at work. I decided to look at my sites stats which I try not to do because then I start obsessing over them. I checked out the recent search engine words that have produced hits to my site and I got a very good and much needed laugh out of it. So I figured I’d go ahead and share with the class.

February 21, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: Leave a Comment

On Sunday I drove down to Washington DC to see my favorite writer and spoken word artist Henry Rollins perform.  The show was amazing as usual. In fact, it was better than usual. It was being filmed for broadcast so he really went for it and it blew my mind. The show ended I walked out of the theater doors feeling so inspired and ready to run at life head first. You would think that nothing could ruin the feeling of just seeing my favorite artist do the best show I’ve ever seen him do. Oh no, something very simple could ruin that for me. Two steps outside of the theater doors in the lobby of the building I notice that people are carrying around rolled up posters. So I think FUCK YEAH I’m getting one of those to add to my collection of Rollins tour posters. I look everywhere and can not find posters for sale anywhere. So after awhile I force myself to ask someone where they go theirs and they kindly point me in the direction I need to go. I find an empty table with no one there and no posters in sight. Immediately, I’m so upset that I’m sick to my stomach. I missed it, I didn’t get a poster, how could have this happened. I have a poster from every tour I’ve ever been to. Then it gets worse, I find out that it’s a limited run of posters done by artist Shepard Fairey based on a very famous photo taken by Glen E. Friedman. All of them numbered and sign by Rollins, Fairey and Friedman. The level of disappointment that took over my mind and body was so intense that my hands went cold and sweaty and my feet numb. I couldn’t not shake the fact that I didn’t not get this poster. I drove the four hours back from DC in silence obsessing over the fact I fucked up. I should have got there sooner. I shouldn’t have went to get something to eat before the show. I shouldn’t have slept as late as I did that day. I should have driven down to DC the night before and slept in my car outside the theater. I deserve that poster more than anyone else at that show. I almost positive that nobody else made an eight hour round trip in one day to see Henry Rollins. How did this happen? The even more aggravating part was I saw people carrying more than one poster. I should have grab one from them and ran for it. That’s what I should have done but I didn’t instead I drove home sulking and beating myself up for not being on top of things. Now I see this poster on sale on ebay for hundreds of dollars. There’s pieces of shit out their who bought more posters than they wanted or needed just so they can resell them at a grossly inflated price. It makes me so angry. It’s days later and I’m still pissed. FUCK!

If you like these poems, like my writing or anything that I do please use the facebook and twitter buttons below to share it with your friends. As always thanks for reading. -ks

February 15, 2011
Categories: Life . . Author: keith Slader . Comments: Leave a Comment